A Humorous Rant about the Live Feed

Okay, so I’ve been looking at the live feed from the Gulf all morning. I’m sorry, but it looks like a damn ultrasound.
I got just one question, when is the baby due?! Why don’t they just put it in some stirrups, for crying out loud. That’s what the doctor does. Maybe that’s what BP needs, and OB-GYN. Nurse, Get the forceps.
I just thought we needed a little levity at this point. This is just so godawful. However, I simply can’t go on like death warmed-over.
(Pause while I channel Sam Kennison.)
Why don’t we just jam Dick Cheney’s fat ass in there? I’d feel so much better. And, he would finally have served his country. Just a suggestion….

(Yes, the anti-depressants are finally working!)